28 July, 2009
What hurts a person the most? Food for thought...
The amount of food I have for thought with me...phew! No wonder I am unable to attain that elusive zero figure...
I keep munching and gobbling on it all the bloody time!
Small little things of everyday life prick us all and leave scars that last a long while...the bigger hurts we are able to handle, the seemingly less important ones continue to nibble at us within.
The most common human stumbling block in this is the lack of importance from those whom we love...
Nothing can be worse than that!
To be the centre of the world for someone and then just not come within his or her revolutionary orbit!
The feeling then that...was the love showered on me just a case of the shooting star passing by or like a meteor hitting upon my surface leaving a burnt dent in me before disappearing onto nothingness?
So much planetary allusions, you must be wondering...
Well, it is like a planetary conspiracy...the famous saying...maybe it’s written in the stars....
Not just in the love between a man and a woman, it transpires most obviously in all our relations. Daughters getting married and leaving for the husband’s abode, causes them both to wonder have the strands of attachment been stretched too far? Brothers and sisters who have grown up sharing all their secrets with each other suddenly realize that there are more people entering that cosy comfort zone which they proudly safeguarded as their own.
It is said that in true love there is no possession...it’s more important to let go...but then equally true is something else that’s said...it’s easier said than done. Of course after the initial while, the heart and mind gets used to of the person not being around. But those just-been-stricken days, are excruciating to say the least and almost like someone pulled away the ground from our feet and the grounds we so contentedly stood tall on.
I would like to provide you with a key here...the key to survive such a catastrophe...but the irony here is that I just have questions and no answers. Despite going through it umpteenth of times in terms of my own experience and narration of others’ woe tales with the same...I have not yet learnt to live and tell. I have found no keys of how to deal with being shunned from importance like on the first day, first one week or maybe even the term of the first month...whatever the prolonged status of mess is considering the depth of relations. Sooner or later it would pass but then how do we make ourselves strong enough to deal with it when it arrives or its realization does in the form of the popping up symptoms?
It is said expectations are the seeding grounds of disappointments. If you expect nothing you will never get disappointed. But then aren’t we all made of the basic fabric of expectations? If we plant a seedling in the beds of our garden, would it be too unwise to expect it to mature? If we get home a puppy that jumps around us wagging its tail, is it unreasonable to expect it to continue doing so when it outgrows itself in dimensions? If we crave for our beds each night after gruelling days, is it very demanding to expect to go into a deep sleep of peace and rejuvenation?
We as humans are not unreasonable and it’s time we accept that. If I demand to be treated in a certain way, please be bloody sure that I have earned to deserve it. However, equally sure should be me that I am not over doing my demanding act. Before rights come responsibilities. I need to fulfil my duties to earn my pleasure and leisure. I need to give to be able to get. I must be less sentimental to match with the pragmatic world.
I should change me before attempting to alter the way the world thinks. And like a dear friend of mine insists after every debate we have about the essence of things in the world...ACCEPTANCE of it all ends in peace of body, mind and soul.
What hurts now would heal someday and the scars might disappear if we stop noticing them every now and then! When He provides you the wounds, he also makes arrangements for the balm...we just need to be more observant to perceive it! Also perhaps what hurts the most reaffirms its value to us and thereby reasserts the need to double in efforts to strengthen it! What hurts the most makes us seek elsewhere for that which provides us the most delight too! May each one succeed in his journeys!
27 July, 2009
Recently I got some school and teenage times pictures of mine scanned and uploaded on the social networking site-Face book which brought a whole gang of my school and college friends into action...commenting, remembering and poking, for all of us batch-mates were stirred within by a churning feeling and yearning to return back to those good old days. As we conversed and communicated, the past memories came unraveling and filled me with that deep sense of something lost, when you feel happiness and sorrow at the same time. Joy that these days did come in your life at some point and despair that they passed by so soon!
Some of what we remembered I would like to share here...
This must be when we were in Grade 5. Normal children at that age are coy and geeky but we...na ji na...we never did confirm to any standards and sought to shatter them whenever they sternly towered before us. I would either scandalize you or cause you to break into guffaws with this, but either ways this must come out. We were not horny or malevolent...just simply fun driven. There was a gang of some five of us and what was our favourite once-a-day drill? To bend down under the benches and be able to tell what colour the girl behind us, with her legs spread apart almost always, was wearing....ewwwww gross when you think of it now. But then an insane competition would ensue of who would succeed in knowing the maximum colours and also making predictions of the colour next day! How we judged the authenticity of the winners was subject to much controversy and eventually got the cat out of the bag. The age old tradition was quite nipped in the bud, but then it was maha adventurous till it lasted. I guess all-girls school or an-all boys school are indeed injurious to health of growing children, for see how we have turned out to be!
This next anecdote must be from the time when we were in Class 11th, I think. A beautiful rainy day of monsoons like now and my friend Surabhi and I decided to go for a drive to grab up some eatery. Now my little town has a famous street called Arya Nagar with equally little food shops fringing either sides of this long lane. It is like the Mall Road of big towns and the hang out for youngsters. So like they say “mulla ke daud masjid tak”....whenever we would want an outing, Arya Nagar was THE place to go to, with its shops offering nick-knacks to tantalize the taste buds and “items” of either sex hovering about to capture the eye of someone who’d be interested...
So dressed in beautiful Indian suits, we parked our car on the opposite side of the street of a shop which had two handsome famed hunks of our town standing under its shed. Hmm...We were out on a prowl and had just found our targets. This was our destination for ‘ek teer do nishaana’ syndrome...khaane ka khaana and harmless display of ourselves and some eye tonic as well...Why settle for less, when you can get more, simple fundas!
So with oodles of style pouring out of our pores, we moved out into the pitter patter to go to the next side of the road.
Handling our duppattas with great ada, unruffling our mildly wet hair, pulling our salwaars mischievously some 7 inches above the ankle due to water all around and smiles playing on our faces...what hopes of great conquest we thought awaited! Surabhi moved out first and just as she was about to walk out to the spot, she went off my focus and disappeared...
Aha, no magic there my friend....because when I looked around I did not see her, but when I looked down, there she was stretched out upon mother earth. Apparently there was a main-hole or something open, just outside the shop and she had dropped into that full on, since due to water logging on the street, no inch of the ground was visible. Suppressing my laughter and thinking how dumb she can be to fall before the hunks and let me add to my market value by rescuing the damsel in distress, I took the giant leap for mankind to lend her a helping hand...
And voila! The very next moment I joined her on the ground for it was not a main hole but a drainage line...And for the next five minutes, what did we do? We sat flat out on the ground, right in the middle of the busiest high end street of our town and laughed our guts out.
The handsome hunks had more of surprise on their faces than any kind of conducive impression that we had expected to create...But they also lost big time on our cards for not being chivalrous enough to come forward to help. Probably they had learnt by my example and feared wetting their branded clothes...So after being completely drenched in that street water, a pathetic sight to look at probably...we still had the balls to walk past these guys and order our burgers...went full on back in the rain, laughing and dodging the conspiring drainage to latch onto us again. What a day! Those out on a conquest had been conquered and tagged with being the dumbest girls but we had loved each moment of it!
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh...so much more to share...but let me keep that for a sequel for just these two memories have left me with a sweet, light aura that I would like to linger...So until next time let that child in you stay alive! I stopped growing mentally after the age of 21...and no fatal damages have been done so far but letting me rest in peace. So stay alive and kicking!
19 July, 2009
Confess, confess and cleanse...
I certainly am a big bag of contradictions!
In fact such is my state that most of the times I amaze myself only, by remaining stuck in self created bafflements. I demand for things I can’t supply. I call myself independent and within moments crave for protective hands to hold me. I declare I am strong but the slightest hint of hurt gets me in an inner turmoil, never mind how I project ‘me’ to the world. It’s not just the difference between saying one thing and meaning or showing another. It is really like the two faces of the coin with us all. So when we flip the coin up, we should be prepared that either side could land on our palm. This however, leaves us in a perpetual state of doubt of who we really are or what we really want. Also then as such, we can’t raise fingers at others...for what we can’t fathom, how would they be able to unravel it?
Upon deeper thought, no one can really live on the verge of extremes forever and God made us in his notorious designs of mind boggling paradoxes. Aren’t the most confident of souls ever confused? The most morality stricken ever detoured? The degrees and frequency may vary but basic intrinsic human nature tends to oscillate...We like being pendulums and the steadiness of remaining still in the centre almost brings our clock to a standstill. We also don’t like to be in one periphery for too long. Hence the paradigm shifts keep the life moving by adding that zing.
So, much as you may hate the predicament, inconsistencies are not always negative!
For each time you contradict yourself, you know a little more about you- good or bad. It leads you to questioning about what is it that you really are seeking here...time to see the mirror and reflect.
At other times when you contradict, you are perhaps only looking for a validation. It is a desire for the assertion of that side to you, which you want to hear of or pine for by this so called 'contradiction'. It may also often be just a help call to others to lift you out from the rut, by putting you on the fringe where you really should be, for otherwise you tend to dilly dally the analysis living in the fear of arriving at it or just not strong enough to do it by yourself.
You may also negate or challenge just for the heck of it...for lack of anything better to do, and it provides you an adrenalin rush to get into argumentative mode with yourself or others. You seek to create a mystery around you, letting others hang on to your every word and dare not take you for granted. For when they do, you get the chance to spin a complete 360 degrees and get to watch with sinful pleasure, the disbelief on their countenances. Who’s to say the high from this drill is any lesser than that provided by the ales at the counter of a bar or less morally wrong for that matter?
Also within all contradictions of persons or their speeches lie the subtle hints as to their actual inclinations. It needs no special discerning eye to gauge that...just an empathetic and open heart. No matter how confused we say we are or make others feel it, deep down we know our true selves and what we are actually capable of...
Mystery adds the spice to our existence, but an extra dosage of spices can get you to burn your tongue. It is said more battles are lost due to indecisiveness than by lack of action!
So contradict where you can’t help but conclude where you can!
Spin where it is conducive, but be steady where it may get injurious!
Accept that idea that both exist in you taking you to your redemption...
Reject the notion that by sticking fiercely to one you may reach there without guilt!
Don't be afraid of contradictions, learn to live and be at peace with them!
Let’s celebrate our flaws and not hide them...
Welcome confusion for a change and not pretend to know it all...
Let’s be a little more us, than striving to be what we deem we should!
17 July, 2009
(Love seems to be in the air and it's not even February yet with its mad valentine flavor...Well, this here is a superb summary of what love is, contributed in all his profound genius by another dear friend...thank you for sharing this amazing interpretation that leaves no room for argument, apprehensions or doubt! Love to live or live to love....pretty much the same! Let's spread the good word!)
Love has no bounds, like the open blue sky...like the ocean with its seamless and imaginary boundary called the horizon....or like the mirage, raring u to go ahead......like the intrigue of Bermuda Triangle..... or perhaps like the mysterious darkness which scares you but urges to find more.....Like an eternal light guiding us and at times blinding us.....like the forbidden path on which your feet take you with reluctance but also not wanting to turn back.....like the depth of the sea which you cannot fathom.....like the wrath of a raging bush fire which can turn greenery into simmering coal.....Like cool winds blowing from the Himalayas.....like a Tsunami which heads towards shores to sweep away everything in its path......like a painting full of vibrant colours.....like the innocence of a child....like the compulsive beating of the heart.....like the value of infinity!
Love can give birth to life...love can kill
love can hurt...love can love
love is good...love is bad
love gets the best out of us...and gets the worst out of us
love is bright....love is dark
love is pure...love is sinful
love is seductive and thrilling.....love is dangerous and harmful
love is peace....love is turmoil
love happens most unexpected....and the most unexpected happens in love
love needs no stage....love needs no age!
love is nothing but it is Everything......
I think the secret is unraveled....
LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE
(Another piece here forwarded by a dear friend of mine, which stirred me deeply and hence an attempt to allow it to reach to the chords of your heart too...a beautiful rendition of words and seamless thoughts by Osho...Enjoy, experience and evolve!And thank u dear friend for enriching me with this!)
LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP....
Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.
Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.
And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.
You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate.
In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating not a relationship. And I am not saying that their love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love may last longer than your so-called relationship ever lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion.
If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said.
Forget relationships and learn how to relate.
Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.
To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.
And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.
Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.
And if you relate, and don't reduce it to a relationship, then the other will become a mirror to you. Exploring him, unawares you will be exploring yourself too. Getting deeper into the other, knowing his feelings, his thoughts, his deeper stirrings, you will be knowing your own deeper stirrings too. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and then love becomes a meditation. Relationship is ugly, relating is beautiful.
Hence I say relate. By saying relate, I mean remain continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her," or, "I have known him." At the most you can say, "I have tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery."
In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.
11 July, 2009
Hey this corny line was in a school chapter of ours I think in standard 7th or 8th...and yup it means exactly as it sounds...it spoke of a lady with very big “assets”, who would call this nervous little employee to her ‘boozelum’ every time he scored well at work...so much that the poor lad began to fear doing well...It’s better to crash than to be crushed under road rollers like those!
So after guffaws and sniggers about it, it became like an anthem for us...for we’d repeat it shamelessly anywhere and everywhere and to almost everyone...
What can one say about an article that begins with digress to a completely unrelated territory?
This piece is not about boobs as you may have deemed with excited antennas all wired up...it’s about booze...and our world around it.
Boozelum and booze sound phonetically similar...hence the going off track justified!
Okies...confession time first...
How well do I know my booze before I begin to blabber about it?
Well, let me admit that I am a once in a blue moon drinker...all right all my sasuraal people who are reading this...please don’t succumb to a cultural shock...For tell me what is the more important principle to follow in life- the path of honesty or the path of abstinence...?
At least I am being honest here....!
So this piece is in dedication to all my talli friends...who love their drinks till death do them part...and god in his blessed designs has surrounded me with such high-spirited souls and what can I say...I’m only human and once in a while when I raise my hands to give up, it ends in a toast...hic, hic and cheers!
Thanks here to a dear friend who sent me an eight page email about the history of various ales which I thought could be filtered to form a basic premier for all of you night riders and party goers....
So what is alcohol exactly?
Hmm...the dictionary meaning would be something like...the drink obtained after breaking down of natural sugar of grain into CO2, ethanol and residual content...blah, blah, blah...
But since meaningful education is scarce and dictionary using an extinct phenomenon...the talli version would be... “Amrit hain ji...jisko pe ke insaan is duniya ka nahi rehta...” I am reciting the unedited versions of some of my dear drunk friends when they get so “high” that they touch the sky...others say, “Hmm...hum peete hain gham bhulane ko”... ya right and their gham being that they have to get up next day and live a life on the bed of roses till it’s party time again!
Further ahead though...some startling facts that you must know...
Like did you know that the different tastes, colours and flavours of any alcohol actually come from fruits and vegetables? Oho...why didn’t anyone tell this to my mom when she used to insist that I go on a fruit diet or gulp down that terrible concoction that she termed as vegetable soup...ughhh...? So bottom line fruits and vegetables are best for health in whatever form you guzzle them in...So thoda aur piyo....n piyo jee bhar ke;)
Whenever I go dancing or clubbing...which is tragically another equally blue moonish story (so many variations of blue around me...hmmm)
Anyways, whenever I do do that...dancing that is...I sometimes like my little shot of vodka to get my feet rolling on the dance floor, with a wilful and reckless I-care-a-damn-attitude...
Well, it so appears that this is not a character defect but that there’s an explanation for it...a rocket science type of a justification! The kick comes when alcohol is absorbed into the blood stream directly and slows down the central nervous system...See, I knew it...this was a conspiracy of my metabolic system for my soul and intensions are always impeccably pure. The alcohol blocks some of the commands that the brain sends to the body and hence reflexes and reactions are slower...
Hmm...So that explains why I flirt like mad when I get a bit tipsy!
And also why a very famous young man of my little town decided to strip off all his clothes to do a full monty in everyone’s view and to their horror, after being superbly drenched in a mixture of whatever was at the counter, at a new year’s bash...Of course he had to be physically thrown out whether his reflexes agreed to it or not and since then the famous has turned into the infamous..!
Here’s another great fact about alcoholic consumption capacity between males and females. Much to our wonderment, among our group of friends are such couples where the wives are constantly grasping glasses after glasses of exotic preparations in their dainty fingers and the husband sits in a corner tossing down orange juice after pleasing his lady love with the order of her choice...
It is said by experts in case of alcohol consumption, the bigger you are the better it is (hmm...we don’t need any experts to tell us THAT...! What have we been doing in all those blessed years of adulthood otherwise if not discovering that yet?)
Anyways, big people have larger quantity of blood, so the alcohol they take in is more diluted as it mixes with the blood...
Well, it’s settled then...please remind me to take only thin people when I host a cocktail party next...biases be damned!
And since women are generally smaller than men, the research says that their capacities are lesser...
Now this one is a laugh my ass off kinda funda!
The expert should come and have a look at some of the women I know who begin with a beer, settle in with a vodka...take the night high with an exotic cocktail and eventually call it a closure with vine...and yet remain a size zero...hmm...zero logic there!
Maybe the expert meant small of brains or forgot about being big in the assets for the women folk, which may tantamount to the same. Women are going to kill me for this!
But for you my dear readers the next time you want to impress someone with your knowledge of human manna or the drinks of heaven...chill, it’s not just a connoisseur’s job...yours truly, that is little miss moi, is at your service here...
The risky whisky:
This is broken down into single malt and the blended whisky...
Famous brand names that must be included in that words-at-my-thumbs list: Glenfiddich, Dalmore, Port Ellen...and blended ones like Bells, Teacher’s, Whyte Mackay and Johnnie Walker...
The blended ones are softer, lighter and more palatable...
And did you know... ‘Whisky’ is produced from the grains in Scotland and ‘whiskey’ is produced in USA or Ireland? It’s after all not a spelling blunder that the whole bunch of industrial big-shot morons made who didn’t study their grammar at school properly.
And also note American whiskey is called Bourbon too!
The cognac...reminds you of that famous dialogue from the flick Chandni... “Cognac sharaab nahi hote”...well my dear Sridevi ji...cognac sharaab he hote hain...made from wines of Poitou and matured in oak casks...hmm...I wonder how it tastes though!
And then my dear, dear vodka...
Now here’s an eye opener...vodka was used as medicine and gun powder when the human race evolved...Whoa...and then we say our ancestors were brainos!
Who uses good old vodka or rather wastes it in making gun powder?
Medicine is still understandable...as would my “sick for it” friends would vouch for....
And did you know there are many types of vodkas too?
Acorn, birch, calendula, cherry, chicory, ginger hazelnut, mint, pepper, mountain ash, peppermint, raspberry ,watermelon and many more...
Ho hai...and I have just had one of these...and that too I don’t know which one...How illiterate we can be sometimes!
I better check those bottles next time and know what is going inside of me and how it would come out the next day...
No puns intended!
Then there’s gin with a boring history, not so appealing to me either in all its effervescent temptation...so I’d let it pass...
Also there, are the tequila shots too...hmm...now that is an interesting variant. When one sees a bunch of happy go lucky friends...sprinkling salt on their knuckles and holding a cut lemon in one hand with a tequila shot in the other...there is something intoxicating about the very thrill of the whole drill...some blood pumping and adrenalin rush it is! So with the word “cheers” just as a race is commenced...the high-spirited troupe takes a mouthful down of the liquor and get into a trance like state till they shake their heads to jerk in or off the kick! Phew!
Hmm...So worth a try! The tequila my dearies for you are made from the agave plant but then who cares when they create an orgasmic burning down your throat taking you to places unheard of! But on a serious note, I guess we do need to actually save those trees and plants which the environmentalists have been telling us to do from ion years if we want the revelling to go on...see I care for the ecosystem too!
So it’s been a long revealing story but then when the night is young and long, stories are bound to happen! When something goes in, the repercussions are bound o come out! How sober am I while writing this or anything else that I do...well, I never really am...always high...high on life!
It is said that true love happens once in a lifetime...
Equally true is perhaps the notion that this “lifetime” happens several times in a year for some...!
Food for thought...?
Hmm...I’d say it is!
Monogamy in modern day’s relations is an expectation that is bound to counter rough seas or stony patches in its path ahead, for the lines of social acceptances are widening and moralities blurring. We as a communal structure are prone to more exposure to situations undreamed of before and hence more vulnerable. Yet in the complex pairing of relationships, how much is expecting too much and how much is letting the thread of our kites be relaxed so loose that breakage is inevitable? “Once in a lifetime” then...is it possible or rational in context of a life and is once really enough? And then when in all its glory it does happen...what next? Live happily ever after?
Well, it is said we are born with certain characteristics and develop others as we saunter ahead on our journeys. The basic constitution does not change...
The roving eye would do just that...drift rootlessly like the weed...
The guarding eye would do what it is meant to...safeguard, fortify, shield and be on a constant lookout...
Yet what is meant to happen, happens...!
Can there really be a blame game and also how justified is it when we have come to a hypothesis and realization that all of a person’s emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs cannot be justified by just one another soul?
A dear friend of mine recently commented that after 21 years of age, we all officially enter the adult bracket and after that does age really matter? Aren’t we all in the same queue? Of course he’s in his mid twenties so I laughed off the matter thinking how this sound could or imply more deeply than the fact that he just said it for the heck of it? Well, it sounded and it did...!
We all really are in the same queue....!
We face similar circumstances meant for us to go through the natural grinding process of trials, tribulations and errors...yet some of us within these confines manage to digress- go off track. Are those who do better off than those who remain stuck to the models?
Who’s to say? But they sound happier...like this yuppie twenty something proudly asserts that he has fallen “truly” in love around 8-10 times and still feels he has more to give and take! Phew!
And then there are lesser mortals who keep searching for that even single brush with love in its truest and staunchest of mush avatars, so that our quest for the soul mate is a wee bit relaxed....And when this does happen, without the cosmos conspiring against us...how drained we feel after giving and giving... yet the young man says he always has more to give? A gender difference I might like to think it as, but the fact is it’s a conceptual difference where minds work in the way that we tell them to!
Is it again the fact coming here that we are attuned to a certain set of collective societal standards and agree to them as blindly as we do with like say the matters of religion? “This is how it is supposed to be and hence it’s the only right way”. We may gape in wonder or raise fingers at those who manage to trot on this blasphemous turf...perhaps because we ourselves are not getting opportunities to do so! A case of sour grapes? It is said that strange is the logic of the human mind...we try to compromise when we are wrong and justify when someone else is!
Yes, the mind is strange and we perhaps are stranger!
Another set of questions that remain unanswered which remain on my platter as my food for thought!
For if we were single individuals unattached to any fabric of shared structures perhaps the burden would have been lesser. But since we are not just XYZ... we are ABC’s son, DEF’s father, GHI’s wife, etc...The mind continues to debate, question and justify to itself.
It is said by the great Deepak Chopra again that ‘All relations are mirrors of us’. When we like or dislike a person it is because deep down the other one is a reflection of who we are or could be, whether we realize it or it remains in our subconscious domain. It is not chance acquaintances that we are talking about here...it is our love-hate relationships that we choose to carry along with us as we move ahead on the journey of our lives.
It is easier to relate to someone affable...to proclaim yes, I like him because he is humble, noble, friendly and kind. It is almost an inference or implication that I ditto these qualities within me. But how could I relate to someone who is manipulative, selfish and greedy? I maintain a strictly hate-relationship with him because I detest these qualities...so how could I be that? You can be and you are! These are the qualities that may be invoked in you if perhaps you let off your guard or get trapped in a weaker moment. Traces of it you may already have discovered in the everyday working of your life...the slight hint of manipulation you did with your spouse to make him agree for a vacation or selfishness when you carried on with your professional calls when you were more required at home. The degrees may vary and you would have to be a brave man my friend if you declare at this juncture that you are a saint and far above these pitfalls whatever the case may be!
So how do we go about in our relations?
The good ones we cherish and make conscious endeavour to let it grow and blossom. For the others we must either ignore or tune down the hatred quotient. What fun and an easy life it would be if all of us came with tuner buttons or knobs inbuilt in our system. Imagine realizing that our tone has gone higher than was called for and all we need to do is turn the tuner button slightly left and voila, the job is done. Since unfortunately god in his greater designs decided against it, it’s once again left to our own onus to do so. Let’s make a start by looking at things from the other’s perspective- the 2nd person view.
Judge and react after placing yourself in his shoes and not just shoes my friend but his skin, his environment, his upbringing and values and thereby the structuring of his definite thoughts. The burden just might be easier. If his shoes are not such an amiable idea let’s take a 3rd person view-completely neutral... me as an outsider and in this situation, evaluating pros and cons of what’s at hand...what would be my surmise for the same? Perhaps then, the hatred we feel would not be so much as we began with!
Just remember that we are just looking into mirrors and what we see is what we are or could be...so let’s not be so harsh on the other one and take it up slowl